Category: Let's talk
I just found this article online. I just thought of posting it here. Let me know what you think. Do you agree or disagree with the writer?
Do You Want To Be Very Happy - Presentation Transcript
Do You Want To Be Very Happy? Article written by Bo Sanchez at http://bosanchez.ph Presentation by : www.the-amazing-one.blogspot.com
Let me tell you a crazy story …
One morning, a woman was sad when she faced the mirror. She discovered she only had 3 strands of hair on her head. Suddenly, she smiled. “Today,” she said, “I’ll braid my hair!” And after doing so, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.
The next morning, the woman woke up and felt sad as she saw the mirror. She discovered she only had 2 strands of hair. Suddenly, she smiled. “Today,” she said, “I’ll part my hair in the middle.” After she did that, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.
The next morning, the woman woke up and felt sad as she saw the mirror. She discovered she only had 1 strand of hair left. Suddenly, she smiled. “Today,” she said, “I’ll wear my hair in a ponytail.” After she did that, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.
The next morning, the woman woke up and felt sad as she saw the mirror. She discovered she had zero hair left. Suddenly, she smiled. “Yeepee!” she shouted in glee, “I don’t have to do my hair today!” Immediately, she walked out of her home and had fun, fun, fun.
Do you want to be happy? Here’s how…
A thick wad A chocolate of P1000 bills parfait with thick gives syrup gives pleasure. pleasure. A roller coaster ride A kiss gives gives pleasure. pleasure A fun movie, gives pleasure.
Then what’s the difference between pleasure and happiness?
Happiness Pleasure is an outside job. But happiness is an inside job. It doesn’t depend on any external circumstances. Yep, even if you only have three strands of hair on your head. Happiness isn’t the absence of problems.
“Be Joyful Always” The Bible doesn’t say, “Be joyful sometimes.” Or “Be joyful when you don’t have problems.” The Bible says, “BE JOYFUL ALWAYS.” Is that possible? I mean, c’mon. No one can be happy 365 days a year. But the Bible says, “Be joyful always” because happiness isn’t a mood. Happiness isn’t an emotion either. Happiness is a way of life.
What is common? I know of strange human beings walking this face of the earth who are extremely happy. Not just moderately or mildly happy. But deeply joyful. (Hey, you may be one of them. Congratulations!) I know them. Some of them are my friends. Because of my work, I’ve traveled all over the world. So I asked myself this question: Who are the happiest people I know? I listed them down. After sifting through the hundreds of thousands of people archived in my brain, I asked a more difficult question: What is common among them all?
7 Tools Of Happiness I came up with seven great things I see in extremely happy people. I call them the 7 Tools of Happiness: 1. Happy people create their destiny 2. Happy people like themselves a lot 3. Happy people nurture connections 4. Happy people find delight everywhere 5. Happy people embrace change 6. Happy people trust deeply 7. Happy people work their purpose daily
WhyLet me share with you people unhappy? why many people are unhappy… The enemy of happiness isn’t sadness. The enemy of happiness isn’t problems. The enemy of happiness isn’t loneliness. The enemy of happiness is FEAR Our lives are so fueled by it. We run our lives by fear !!!
Your Body Is Hardwired To Be Afraid In Dan Baker’s excellent book, What Happy People Know, he explains how our body circuitry is wired to fear. Our brains have three parts. The brain stem, the amygdala, and the neocortex. The more primitive parts of our brains, the brain steam (also called the reptilian brain, because reptiles have these for brains) and the amygdala are FEA R “programmed for fear”.
Our Ancestors Needed Fear Why? Our ancestors needed fear for their physical survival. Imagine yourself living in the wilderness with lions, wolves, and cobras around you. Danger lurks behind every tree and shadow. Once their brains register fear, the endocrine glands produce our fear hormones adrenaline and cortisol. It gave them super strength to fight or flight. And in fighting or fleeing, they exhaust the adrenaline and cortisol in their bodies.
What about now? Well and good. But what about us who usually sit behind desks and work on computers? We still have the same fear mechanism. But this time, we’re no longer afraid of lions or cobras behind every tree. We afraid of our rising credit card bills. We’re afraid of our boss. We’re afraid of losing our jobs. We’re afraid for our children future? We’re afraid that at 35, we won’t get married. We’re afraid we’ll grow lonely. We’re afraid we’ll run out of money. We’re afraid of social rejection. We’re afraid of social shame and losing face. We’re afraid of disease.
Poison in life And these fears are so real, our endocrine glands produce adrenaline and cortisol as well. And because we’re seated behind our desks, pounding on our computers, we really don’t Pois o n use up any of it. Adrenaline and cortisol become POISON in our bodies, destroying our health bit by bit.
Conclusion Thus, very few people are happy. If you want to be happy, we need to overcome our fears. How?
What is our fear? Twenty years ago, a friend gave me a book about facing fears. My arrogant response to her: “Thanks for the book. But frankly, I don’t think I need it. I don’t know why, but fear isn’t a problem for me. I don’t have any fears.” Ten years later, I ate my words. Because after a deep soul search, I realized how my life was run by many fears. Many of the things I was doing I did because of fear! I feared what other people said about me. I feared failure. I feared angry people. I feared of not having enough. I feared of not being enough.
The Only Antidote to Fear Is… In my life, I’ve discovered that there is only one thing that can overcome fear. There is only one thing that is more powerful than fear. The only antidote to fear is LOVE. When you fill your life with love, your fears naturally disappears. I’m talking about a love for God, a love for others, a love for yourself, and a love for life itself. The Bible says, Perfect love casts out all fear and I totally believe it.
Facet of love In fact, remember the “7 Tools of Happiness” I listed above? Every single one of them is really a facet of love Each tool can drive away a specific fear in your life. Once your fears are gone, happiness will flood your soul.
May your dreams come true For further question regarding this topic or more interesting article visit : http://bosanchez.ph
Wow, just. . . wow. . .
Wow is right. I really like this article, it's just so true, lol.
I agree with this article. So many people let fear run their lives. I'm so happy that some people call me careless, but I just choose not to let anger, angry people, fear, and troublesome situations run my life. Life is waaaaaaay too short. So just fill it with happiness and love.
I also agree with all seven tools of happiness, especially liking oneself a lot, finding delight everywhere, embracing change, and nurturing connections. That totally describes the happy people I know and myself.
This article would really be helpful to many people.
This is an excellent article. I have heard of it and am so glad to have seen it. My favorite is the part about happiness coming from the inside. So many people say they are "searching for happiness". They are looking for outside stimuli to do what they need to take care of on the inside. I also think that happiness is a habit and that our joy muscles need to be developed. If we don't use them they will atrophy. Again, thanks. This really made my day!!!
Aah, such a typical American "feel good" email. The trick, come up with some life changing story or event or article, splitit into separate things, number the things (7 steps to happiness, 10 steps for losing weight, lose 20 pounds in 33 days, 6 hours and 3 minutes), then make it all personal experience and make it look like someone is trying to save you, preferably by backing it up with supposed biological or scientific evidence that really doesn't mean anything.
And it usually encourages people to spend a lot on their credit card and then not worry about it, God will may be take care of it (may be God gave us a brain so that we could realize when we're spending too much, and the sense of responsibility so we know when we are spending other people's money, by not paying back credit card we're shifting our spending onto other people, others who work hard but get awful interest rates, share holders who spend their life savings on something but the stocks in the company fall because their cash flow isn't what they expect, because you didn't pay up).
I just see an endless flow of the feel good, supposedly smart, emails and books and articles. Not that they don't hve a point sometimes but mostly it's obvious, a lot of it is wrong. So say love is the antidote for fear, the more you love your kids the more you feel afraid of something happening to you if you feel they depend on you, so love can actually create fear in its own right, the more you care about someone the more you may fear about losing them, the more you care about something, the more scared you may be of that thing ending, hence the sentence of love being the antidote to fear makes no sense.
If this stuff makes people feel good that's totally fine, but sometimes I wish someone would just think a bit and realize how silly this really is, it's like a bad Lifetime movie, the key to happiness is in your brain, in working hard, achieving things, being responsible, sure lovig plays a part but it can't be written up in 7 easy steps, it just doesn't work.
cheers
-B
First off, these are not steps to happiness, they are characteristics of happy people. You've got a brain, why didn't you realize that?
And oh, my grapes! How the hell do these characteristics have anything to do with the recession?
I totally understand where you're coming from on the love leads to more fear part. But people often fear what they don't need to, and don't fear what they should. More often than is necessary, people instill their own fear. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you have to fear something happening to them or losing them. People bring that crap on themselves. They let their fears run their lives, thus making themselves unhappy..
I agree with the above poster.
why is fear a bad thing? i mean we are not given bad emotions. all of them have benefits. sometimes we chose to use them in dangerous or destructive manners. if we didn't fear that we would lose someone we would treat them with a lack of respect and with conoplacency. then the person would feel not cared about. now, if we are so affraid of something happening to the relationship or the person that we won't let them be or do what they need to do or be, then fear is damaging. good grief did I just make sense?
anyway, i have one thought for wildebrew. one thought not seven. get a grip. this article is supposed to make you think. the seven things are to cause us to branch out and consider things. how you jumped from happiness to credit cards to nasty american imperialists to the recession is amazing. i want to find your mental ballet instructor. have a great day.
First off, I think--I know, that one can care about a person without fearing losing them. I care about lots of people, but I don't fear losing them because I know that I will move on regardless and I don't let their existence or nonexistence control my life. I know that might sound a little heartless, but I've dealt with much loss and rejection in my past, so it doesn't really affect me anymore.
Second, concerning the prior poster, I think depression is bad. Sadness is okay, but I think depression is unnecessary. It doesn't get anyone anywhere, and if anything, it's detrimental. It doesn't help or make anything better. Crying, being sad, and sulking are fine, but depression is just a waste of time and an emotion. Too, I think that fear causes us to hurt ourselves or others around us sometimes and also causes us or those around us to miss out on wonderful events or experiences. Not all fear, no. But I'd say many of them.
And, as for the sixth poster, this article was to make a person sit back and say: "Okay, so how can I make myself happier? /what am I doing to make myself happy or sad? What am I not doing to make myself happy?"
You totally took this whole thing out of context, my dear.
Digressive Distortion,
I love your emails. For the most part I totally agree with what you said with the exception of depression. In my message, i didn't say anything about it and if I did, then I'm sorry if you misconstrued it.
As a person who lives in a family with inherited depression on both sides, I must point out that there is a vast difference between having a bad hair day and or feeling blue and full blown clinical depression. Unless you have been there or lived with someone who has you have no idea of the terrible toll this disease takes on the person who has it and those who love them.
oh yes, depression may be unnecessary unless you have a chemical imballance or a bad gene or whatever it is that causes it in some people. just thought i'd mention that too
Well, you didn't mention depression particularly, but I was just commenting on the fact that you wrote in a previous post that we are not given bad emotions and that all of them have benefits. I was just pointing out a bad emotion.
digressive distortion, you weren't clear, or at least my brain didn't get it. anyway, i still maintain that there are no negative emotions. depression can be beneficial if it doesn't last too long or come on too strong. how can we feel the true wonderfulness of joy or happiness if we don't experience its opposite? when confronting death and/or loss, the enoui we feel gives us the down time we need to think and reprioritize. It is
When depression is like a ravening monster that eats up everything in our life and steals our will to live must it be treated and addressed aggressively and proactively. If we feel very down or know someone who fits this description for more then a couple weeks, make sure that we or they get help immediately!!!!!!!!!
the road of life should traverse through both mountains and valleys. If we stay on the physical mountain tops too long we will die of oxygen deprivation or be too tired to return safely. So it is with happiness and good things. If we get too many of them too fast or don't branch out and try the new, we can succumb to complacency which is a form of emotional slumber or in extreme cases death.
When I was going through a very rough time in life, someone told me that emotional valleys though not fun to pass through, are actually positive times of growth and change. Farmers crops and people thrive in valleys because the rivers, both the real and figurative ones, bring all the fertilizer for the corn or the crap of our problems down from on high to enrich the soil. The crops in the fields and/or the growth in our character lie dormant and then with time, love, and care, begin to grow and thrive.
To function effectively everything has to find and maintain a balance. That includes our emotional life.
Stepping forward or around the corner to the next thing or the next emotion can be the most challenging thing we do.
Writing about this stuff is new territory for me. I hope i've done an adequate job of expression. Knowing you, I don't have to worry that you'll point out my shortfalls.
I'm with Wildebrew on this one. I thought the article was mostly a load of garbage.
Turricane, I totally understand where you're coming from. That was a perfect metaphor you used. Thanks for the explanation. I totally learned something new.